How to Avoid a Dread that is so Popular?
It seems shocking and to some extent natural (keeping in view the human psychology) that in 1918 Oxford Dictionaries had chosen “toxic” as its international word of the year to project or explain myriad of health, social, environmental and psychological issues. And they all are also interconnected.
For instance, environmental pollution/toxic waste problem is the result of toxicity in the mind. In other words, selfishness, greed, self worship/projection/aggrandizement and thus rat race and rampant consumerism have caused severe environmental pollution and climate change problems that we are finding it hard to solve or deal with. Average temperatures are rising and rising (According to some reports, even if we could stop emitting all CO₂ today, there’s already future warming that’s been baked into the system, thanks to past emission.), inconsistent weather patterns are becoming more inconsistent, earth’s surface (both land and water) as well as atmosphere are being polluted, frequency and intensity of droughts, heat waves, and floods is increasing, and the availability of freshwater as well as clean air for various uses is continuously declining. Moreover, according to WWF, more frequent and intense drought, storms, heat waves, rising sea levels, melting glaciers and warming oceans can directly harm animals, destroy the places they live, and wreak havoc on people’s livelihoods and communities.
However, the problem does just not remain confined to damage to our physical/geographical environment or outer world, but also affects the inner world of the people who are in close proximity of toxic people. What is happening outside is nothing but reflection of our internal problem. Thus toxicity is causing problems for the body but also for the soul. Toxic people enjoy to pollute other people’s minds and souls as well. That is why, instead of finding a solution to the problem of their own pain and suffering, they find it more gratifying to extend the sphere of their toxicity (and resultant pain and suffering) to the people around them. Truly toxic people will pollute everyone around them, including you if you allow them. An important reason behind all this drama is getting as much attention as possible. In short, negativity is an essential ingredient for their survival and positivity might suffocate them. And ironically, playing dirty tricks to get attention is given an attractive title: Mind Game.
What is more, Self-destructive habits or toxic behaviours are hard to get rid of and if people don’t realize and thus make no effort to change themselves (that is usually the case), people closely related to them may feel like they’re trapped in a painful and vicious cycle. In simple words, they are the victim of their toxic behaviour.
Here I am talking mainly about “emotionally self-destructive behaviors” that involve making oneself (as well as others) feel bad, typically by trying to put others but ultimately putting their own selves down, denying their own needs, or putting oneself or others into situations where they’re also likely to get hurt by others. Some examples of such behaviours are being sadist and manipulative, playing victim, creating scenes as well as blaming others.
But before identifying any solution, we must first identify the causes behind destructive/toxic behaviour.
Some mind experts are of the view that self-hatred or self loathing is the main cause of all self-destructive behavoiurs or actions.
And self-hate might consist of anger that people harbor towards other people or situations that they think caused troubles for them or towards their so-called enemies or viers who seem to steal or have stolen all the limelight leaving them in the lurch or overshadowed. Moreover, resultant repressed anger and pent-up hostility, that we retain against other people or our so-called viers and that has no viable direct escape route, can also reflect and turn inward against ourselves.
Other causes include sense of insecurity, anxiety, fear, and/or self-doubt, that undermine an individual’s efforts to live a normal life or the life they want to live. And the same is true in reverse: The more they feel unable to live the life they dream of or want to live, the more they feel insecure, anxious, fearful, and restless etc. In short, sense of frustration may negatively affect them mentally, physically, emotionally and financially and thus it is necessary to eliminate the toxicity/negativity to move forward and make your life worth living.
However, as some psychologists also hypothesize, coming out of the vicious cycle of bad habits/behaviours seems a hard nut to crack as it requires making conscious efforts as well as strong will power and self discipline to make changes, and this can cause strong emotions to bubble up — even when it’s change for the better.
Thus most of the people (or toxic people) continue doing what they are used to. And two main reasons they continue doing what they are used to doing are:
i) It feels easy, comfortable as well as sadistic to do even if is not good to do. More precisely, sometimes it even, unconsciously, feels good to nurture these bad habits as sadistic pleasure is an addiction seemingly more powerful than any other addiction.
ii) Most of the people are not even aware of their toxicity and thus remain engaged in non-value added or even destructive activities.
In other word, most of them behave like sleepwalkers/drug addicts and continue clinging to their old ways harming themselves as well as others coming their way. However, people who know that they are toxic don’t have any morality or self-respect and their only aim in life is getting attention and enjoy the suffering of others.
So what is the solution?
First step towards treatment of any ailment is that one must first accept that they are ill. If they don’t know nor are willing to accept that they are ill then no doctor or healer on earth can treat them and they will continue living with their ailment. Thus most important thing to do, for the people around them, is to recognize and then accept that toxic people have some bad habits/behaviour problems that can be dangerous. And their only agenda is to seek as much attention as possible.
And the solution is as simple and straightforward as one can imagine:
Avoid them at all costs while also refusing to be like or one of them.
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References:
i) https://www.cnbc.com/2018/11/15/toxic-is-oxford-dictionary-2018-word-of-the-year.html
ii) https://www.eea.europa.eu/en/topics/in-depth/environmental-health-impacts
iii) https://www.worldwildlife.org/threats/effects-of-climate-change
