The Power of Being Ordinary and Daily Chores as Meditation
People often complain that life is hard and thus boring and dull and, sometimes, even pointless to the extent of being painful. It is because most of the goofers (abundant in every society) want to be special, important, powerful and influential. They crave for fame, wealth, glamour and power so that they could be admired and/or valued. In short, they dream about a wonderful life full of glare, glitz, miracles and magic but mostly behave like a shiftless drifter who accomplishes nothing. Thus instead of creating the so-called miracle they hope for a miracle to happen on its own making their life amazing and magnificent. In other words, it is external validation and approval that they desire from the core of their hearts and that is often the sole purpose of their lives.
And with the rise of social media, according to some observations, this desire has intensified. Users (who are in billions) are behaving madly and even outshining March Hare and Hatter of the “Alice in the Wonderland” fame in their desire to get as much attention and validation as possible. So much so that sometimes it seems they are only obsessed with how many likes, views, or comments they get. Many are even doing outrageous and potentially dangerous as well as shameless/silly things on the internet to get attention. And when they fail to get attention/validation (online as well as offline), they start hating their life and feel depressed.
Thus depression is spreading like a wildfire in many societies of the world. Moreover, in this age of social media, which has added fuel to the fire, it has become common mental disorder. Globally, an estimated 5% of adults suffer from depression.
According to a report by World Health Organization (WHO), approximately 280 million people in the world have depression and reportedly it also tops the list of multiple causes of ill health, in addition to being the leading cause of disability around the world.
The main characteristic or symptom of depression is that one has a persistent feeling of sadness and lack of interest/incentive or pleasure in so-called rewarding and enjoyable activities.
However there is always a way out as there is no problem in the world which has no solution.
And finding solution becomes easier once the problem has been discovered and defined properly.
First of all we must accept that there is nothing wrong with being nobody or ordinary and thus being simple and humble. Desire and struggle to become special and important to seek validation has the potential to become so menacing that it can crush and ultimately kill our soul under its own unbearable burden. As some pundits point out, there is no law of nature that states that one person is innately more valuable (or worse) than another because of being (or perceived to be) or not being more talented, attractive, wealthy, or famous etc. Neither should one think or strive to be.
Moreover, as some pundits put it, it is nothing less than impossible for you to always be at your best. You are bound to do something that falls below your average, and that’s normal. Don’t let the fear of being below average stop you from trying new things and taking risks. More than that, trying to always be good and at everything is bad prioritization.
Once we give credence to this idea of accepting ourselves as we are and stop struggling to look good enough, smart enough, interesting enough, popular enough or successful enough and also stop comparing ourselves with others (whom we might perceive better than us) the miracle will happen. Although having dreams and ambitions and striving to be successful (according to one’s own perceptions) is not bad or condemnable but there is a big difference between having ambitions or aspirations for a wonderful life and feeling discontented — ashamed even — about being ‘ordinary’ in the present.
After you accept yourself as you are and feel no shame or insult in being ordinary or nobody, you can then also do ordinary things or routine chores (cooking, eating, cleaning, dish washing, laundry etc.) as worthwhile, interesting, joyful as well as soulful, ecstatic and sedating instead of despising, boring, tiresome, cumbersome and thus disempowering.
Not only little but also unimportant and incognito or unsung to find the ultimate liberation. Below are some further suggestions to transform your daily chores into powerful meditation techniques that will bring positive energy and thus change in your life without much ado.
- Always be mindful and do all household chores with full attention and even with devotion and love. Why does home cooked food always taste so good? Because mother, the symbol of selfless love, pours love into it. She wants to see her children’s physical and spiritual needs met so that they are whole and healthy, and that is imbued in the meal on the plate. So when you cook, make sure that you do it with all your mind and heart. All other chores like eating, cleaning, making the bed, and washing also be performed with the same zeal and spirit.
- Develop active listening skills. Active listening is listening on purpose. Listening is not the same as hearing. How well you listen has a major impact on the quality of your relationships with other people. Give the attention to others that you wish to receive yourself. Resolve to have at least one conversation a day where you’re fully invested without multitasking. Rather than thinking about what you’ll say next, respond to the other person’s thoughts. By becoming a better listener, you can improve your productivity and your ability to influence, persuade, and negotiate. What’s more, you’ll avoid conflict and misunderstandings.
- Attentive breathing is magical. First of all, according to experts, it is important to breathe through your nose than your mouth. Moreover, breathing consciously and slowly is a wonderful thing to do. It also means paying attention to the sensation of the breath coming in and out of the body. Mindful breathing is a deep breathing exercise. Deep breathing uses big breaths and controls the length. This is to achieve a desired outcome, like falling asleep or reaching a state of relaxation while in meditation or hypnosis. Thus it makes us calm and relaxed therefore slowing our heart rate and allowing us to more easily focus our attention.
- Walk slowly and spontaneously. It is not necessary to always schedule your walks on calendar. If you’re feeling particularly sad, irritable, or just overall “meh,” and find it hard to feel the motivation to continue your work, just 10 minutes of walking in nature or outside your work place can be enough to deliver a serious mood boost. However, each step should also be a practice in awareness. Experts say that for a good and productive walk, it is important to pay attention to your breathing, to everything around you, to the sounds and light and texture of objects. According to research from Stanford University, walking increases creative thinking — and participants were able to produce 50 percent more ideas when walking vs. when sitting.
- Practice mindful reading. Mindful reading means reading in silence and without any distraction. To practice this art you shall find a quiet spot where there is no television or computers on nearby, and just immerse yourself in the world of the book. Reading a book is also like listening to the writer. Thus active listening skills need to be applied in mindful reading too. In short, it is radically different from regular reading, which is usually taken for granted by most of us due to the fact that it is such a common activity. Here is an excerpt from The New York Times article “How to Be Mindful While Reading” for further insights:
“Consider reading in print. If much of your reading is on a screen — your phone, computer or tablet — then mindful reading from a tangible book could be a nice break from the pinging.
As you turn the pages, notice the quality of light, the color and even the smell of the ink on the page, the way that the spine of your book feels against the palms of your hands. You may find yourself more easily bored or sleepy. Take note: This is you slowing down — the point of this exercise to begin with.
Pay attention to language. Look at an individual word; look up unfamiliar words. Maybe you use a pencil to underline language that you notice, or maybe you just make a mental note. Either way, get into the details — the rhythm of a sentence, a detail that conjures a person or place. Notice as reading causes your thoughts to meander. Reading does not have to be a comprehensive or linear exercise. Your mind is not a vacuum sweeping up each word mechanically. You will invariably drift off, think of something else, imagine what you’re getting for lunch, or what you should have said to your date last night — all of this is expected.
When your mind wanders, gently usher yourself back to the text and keep going. If you’ve forgotten the last passage you read, you can always go back and read it again. Or don’t. There’s value in a bit of uncertainty, in finding peace within ambiguity.
Finally, don’t over-prepare for your reading. You don’t really need the perfect lounge chair, with light at just the right slant and a cup of tea precisely brewed. Mindful reading can provide an oasis even in more turbulent settings.”
Thus there in not only magic in being ordinary but also in the mundane if we could only pause to think and break the shackles of everyday rut by being mindful as well as humble.
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References:
i) https://tinybuddha.com/blog/why-its-okay-to-live-a-boring-life-if-thats-what-you-want/
ii) Institute of Health Metrics and Evaluation. Global Health Data Exchange (GHDx). https://vizhub.healthdata.org/gbd-results/ (Accessed 4 March 2023).
iii) https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/beautiful-minds/why-do-you-want-to-be-famous/
iv) https://www.mindtools.com/az4wxv7/active-listening
v) https://sustainablelivingassociation.org/breathing-techniques-a-guide-to-the-science-and-methods/
vi) https://www.integrify.com/blog/posts/more-productive-take-walk/
