When We Start Getting Better
When we start to get better (not in the conventional sense of being rich, famous, or formally more educated and socially successful but by being more aware and enlightened after going through failures/suffering and thus being exposed to many truths), we develop some visible symptoms:
- We start losing friends.
- We start feeling lonely.
- We start feeling sad or even tense or anxious.
- We start ignoring inanities.
- We become humble and accept our ignorance as well as mistakes/deficiencies.
- We stop reacting to provocations.
- We stop talking too much.
- We stop expecting.
- We stop comparing and competing etc.
And last but not the least, we stop caring anymore about peoples’ opinion or their criticism or praise.
And this all is a sign of not hopelessness but of a healthy or productive discontentment. As we start to come out of illusion(s) (and thus from superficial state of complacency), initially we find ourselves in a state of strange discomfort or anxiety. This state of discomfort can be compared to that of the process of caterpillar turning into butterfly.
As many biologists inform us, it so happens that one day, the caterpillar stops eating, hangs upside down from a twig or leaf and spins itself a silky cocoon or molts into a shiny chrysalis. Within its protective casing, the caterpillar radically transforms its body, eventually emerging as a butterfly or moth.
Although, it is still a matter of debate among biologists if caterpillars secretly desire to stay crawling in the dirt and do they also tell their maker “NO!” it’s too hard, it’s too scary! I’m fine right where I am! I can make this work — just let me hang on, but we humans, sometimes, want to stay caterpillars, we deny the butterfly inside of us and we crave the comforts of our earlier version. A battle goes on inside us. We find the process of becoming colorful, strong, self aware, and free very difficult — we fight our true identity inside by demanding we stay caterpillars. But we must fight the fear of flying in order to reach new heights.
Thus the process of change (for better) inside us is never an easy one. And as we become enlightened, we feel like alien inside our own body. We feel like we have been hit by a ton of bricks. Sometimes we also feel empty. Our perception of ourselves also does no longer remain limited to this finite body and mind. This is especially true (and painful) if one has lived an inauthentic life and where they have drifted too far from their true self. We also find ourselves struggling with multiple relationships. The rose-colored glasses come off, and we start to see other people around (including, of course, ourselves) with flaws, baggage and with annoying little quirks.
However, the ancient wisdom tells us that that “if we remain the way we are, we cannot discover the truth or reality behind the mist of our stereotypical ideas or perceptions. There is a famous zen story that tells us that we must first empty our cup (or mind that is already filled with stereotypes) so that new ideas could be poured into it. Thus a radical transformation of the whole of our being is required.” In the beginning it may seem confusing, exhausting or even terrifying but ultimately we feel at ease and peaceful.
A beautiful and wonderful analogy explains this transformation in a very simple way: “Before transformation we are like a child who is falling asleep in a room enveloped in darkness. When he suddenly awakes, sees frightening shadows that scare him and he starts crying in distress or agony. Hearing him crying in anguish, parents enter the room and child becomes calm and peaceful after lights are turned on and he is able to see clearly and understand that those scary shadow were not real but simply the distorted reflections of toys, stuffed animals or other things in the room.”
In a nutshell, getting better is a sort of enlightenment, a journey from darkness towards light. And in the words of Ann Purcell (author of The Transcendental Meditation Technique and the Journey of Enlightenment), “it is like a seed becoming flower. It is the blossoming of who we are, who we are meant to be, and who we are becoming even from the moment of birth.”
Thus with growing up or enlightenment comes a better understanding of yourself and others. So even if you do not feel comfortable in the beginning and you might also feel struggling with new realities, ultimately you will have no choice but to reinvent yourself and make your life journey more meaningful and more sensible. You must have to empty your cup so that it could be refilled with better and refined stuff.
Whatever, one can not get stuck on how things used to be. To live authentically you must have to accept or embrace the transformation and every new level of life will demand a new you. You just don’t want to take that risk. However, refusing to accept the change wouldn’t increase your chance of becoming a better person because you’ll be challenging yourself to try something new, something you might have been scared of in the past. But You also don’t have to run away from life. And contrary to the path of renunciation and abstinence which is often discussed in popular spiritual books, the way is surrendering control and accepting life. Be open-minded and try to get over your fears and doubts. Sometimes it takes being broken, in order to become the NEW version of YOURSELF. It will also not be the end of your world but the beginning of a new world.
Last but not the least, as the seasons change, so do our lives. It is a natural process in our soul’s evolution. You cannot hold onto a season of your life when it is ready to leave your hands. And as someone aptly said, embrace every season of life, experience the benefits…even when it hurts. And the reward that this transformation brings will be a great freedom and strength which cannot be put in words.
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References:
i) https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/caterpillar-butterfly-metamorphosis-explainer/
ii) https://www.theosophical.org/publications/quest-magazine/161-news/5000-the-journey-to-enlightenment
iii) https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-journey-of-enlightenm_b_7287024
